100 Best Chuck Norris Jokes That Will Make You Laugh
Chuck Norris Jokes
1.Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
2. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
3. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
4. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
5. Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattlesnake. After three days of pain and agony, the snake died.
6. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
7. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
8. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
9. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
10. Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
11. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
12. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on. He turns the dark off.
13. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
14. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
15. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
16. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
17. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
18. Chuck Norris can strum a guitar without strings.
19. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
20. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS. He decides where he is.
21. Chuck Norris can kill a stone with a bird.
22. Chuck Norris can hear ants marching.
23. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
24. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
25. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
26. Chuck Norris can kill a black hole.
27. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest against the sun.
28. Chuck Norris can speak French… in Russian.
29. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
30. Chuck Norris can find the last digit of pi.
31. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one stone.
32. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
33. Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
34. Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one move.
35. Chuck Norris can make fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
36. Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
37. Chuck Norris can make onions cry tears of joy.
38. Chuck Norris can breathe underwater… and drink fire.
39. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
40. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
41. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
42. Chuck Norris can squeeze blood from a turnip.
43. Chuck Norris can lick his elbows.
44. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
45. Chuck Norris can finish a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle in one move.
46. Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick underwater.
47. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.
48. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
49. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
50. Chuck Norris can run a marathon in under an hour… backwards.
51. Chuck Norris can walk on water… in a straight line.
52. Chuck Norris can beat Super Mario Bros. without pressing start.
53. Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik’s Cube by peering into its soul.
54. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
55. Chuck Norris can hit a home run in golf.
56. Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.
57. Chuck Norris can cut through a knife with butter.
58. Chuck Norris can hear silence.
59. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
60. Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one stone… by throwing it at another bird.
61. Chuck Norris can win Connect Four in three moves.
62. Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
63. Chuck Norris can write a biography about Shakespeare.
64. Chuck Norris can catch fish with his bare hands… in the Sahara Desert.
65. Chuck Norris can hear ants whispering.
66. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
67. Chuck Norris can catch a grenade… after it explodes.
68. Chuck Norris can count to infinity… twice.
69. Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one stone… by throwing it at another bird.
70. Chuck Norris can strangle someone with a cordless phone… even if it’s disconnected.
71. Chuck Norris can dig a hole to China… from the inside.
72. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
73. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
74. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
75. Chuck Norris can hear ants whispering.
76. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
77. Chuck Norris can catch a grenade… after it explodes.
78. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
79. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.
80. Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn, he stares at it and dares it to grow.
81. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
82. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
83. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
84. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
85. When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
86. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
87. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
88. Chuck Norris doesn’t need an alarm clock, he wakes up the Sun.
89. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
90. Chuck Norris can make a snow angel in a desert.
91. Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick underwater and hit you in the back of the head.
92. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
93. Chuck Norris can speak French… in Russian.
94. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
95. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
96. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
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