80 Funny Dad Jokes of All Time

Funny Dad Jokes of All Time

Table of Contents

Dad Jokes

1. Why did dad tomato turn red?

Because he saw the salad dressing!

2. Why did dad lion always tell jokes?

Because he was a real pride dad!

3. How do you throw a space party for dad?

Together you “planet”!

4. What did his dad say when his son went off to college?

“Bison!”

5. Why did Dad Tomato turn to Baby Tomato and say, “Ketchup”?

Because it was time to “catch up”!

6. Why did dad take his kids to the amusement park?

Because they wanted to “roll” the good times!

7. How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and behave like a nut! Just like a dad!

8. Why don’t skeletons fight with each other?

They don’t have the guts! Just like a dad who avoids confrontation!

9. Did you hear about the math teacher who became a dad?

Now he’s a master at multiplication!

10. What did Buffalo’s dad say to his son when he left for college?

Bison!

11. Why did the scarecrow win the prize?

Because he excelled in his field, just like a great dad!

12. How do you throw a space-themed party for dad?

You just “planet”!

13. What did dad spider say to his son?

“You spend too much time on the web!”

14. Why did dad go to the art museum?

Because he wanted to see “Dad’s” masterpieces!

15. Have you heard about the dad who invented a new word?

Plagiarism!

16. Son: Dad, do you know why a goldsmith shopkeeper cannot become a goldsmith?
Dad: No, why son?
Son: Because he neither has gold nor does he need silver.

17. Son: Dad, do you know what is the name of people with big eyes?
Dad: No, tell me son.
Son: Optimist, because he always has the habit of looking ahead.

18. Son: Dad, give me a good name that will make money rain.
Dad: Money.

19. Son: Dad, what should I name my new car?
Dad: Sister-in-law, will not tolerate taunts.

20. Son: Dad, will you eat pickles in the shop?
Dad: No son, I am old enough to swear.

21. Son: Dad, you have a magic wand?
Dad: Yes, just on one condition, it works when I don’t know who is watching.

22. Son: Dad, will you come to my wedding?
Dad: Son, your loved ones are always with you, everyone else is in the WhatsApp group.

Funny Dad Jokes

23. Dad: Son, why do you look at girls?
Son: I study Dad.
Dad: Oh wow! Which is the only course where girls teach?

24. Son: Dad, I have scored 99% in the exam today.
Dad: Wow son, this is very good. By the way why is 1% left?

25. Dad: Son, you want to become an engineer?
Son: Yes Dad, I want to become an engineer.
Dad: Oh wow! it’s so great. Now that you’re fixing your computer, there’s no time left to watch my bedroom fall apart.

26. Dad: Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Son: Dad, I want to be rich when I grow up.
Dad: Oh wow! It’s a big idea. Remember, when you become rich, you will not be able to ask your brother for a loan again.

27. Dad: “Why does your mobile drain so much battery?”
Me: “Dad, I use a lot.”
Dad: “Then take your mobile to your petrol pump, there you will find small battery packs!”

28. Dad: “Son, do you have a picture of your girlfriend?”
Me: “No, Dad.”
Dad: “The folder of our photos has been deleted because of you!”

29. Dad: “Son, have you borrowed money from your friend?”
Me: “Yes, Dad.”
Dad: “Okay, if He asks you again, tell him I don’t have them, he still has them!”

Dad Jokes For Kids

30. Dad: “You have a virus.”
Son: “Papa, who is the virus?”
Dad: “The one who turns your mother into a donkey!”

31. Son: “Dad, I am feeling very cold.”
Dad: “Feeling cold? Then drink some milk.”
Son: “Papa, but milk is with the moustache.”
Dad: “Then you take a moustache, the cold will go away!”

32. Son: “Dad, can I live in the palace for a day?”
Dad: “Yeah, as long as it doesn’t become a Play Station!”

33. Dad: “Son, have you done your homework?”
Son: “Yes, Dad, I got my friend done myself!”

34. Son: Dad, after running, do you ever run in your dreams?
Dad: No, son. I run to eat in my dreams!

35. Son: Dad, do you know how robbers open doors?
Dad: No son, how?
Son: Let’s open the “lock”!

36. Sansa: Dad, you know, I make a lot of mistakes every day.
Dad: Yes, I see it.
Sansa: Okay, but can I get a salary for my mistakes?

37. Sansa: Dad, why did you get married?
Dad: That was my thought, but now boys like you have come, that’s why I am regretting!

38. Son: Dad, are you a magician?
Dad: No son, I am just a man who follows you and takes care of everything!

39. Son: Dad, tell me, what is most important to you?
Dad: Your school teacher has to think like this!

40. Dad: Son, if you leave your friends alone, what will you tell them?
Son: Done by mistake, I had to go home early!

Corny Dad Jokes

41. Dad: How was your exam?
Son: It was good, everything went well.
Dad: Must be good, at least there is one of happiness!

42. Dad: You see, what color are my eyes?
Son: Brown, Dad!
Dad: Wrong, son. When I was like you, there was a color of happiness in my eyes.

43. Dad: One day I will allow you to use the internet.
Son: Wow, really? are you saying this?
Dad: Yes, but only after waking up and before going to sleep.

44. Dad: Son, have you studied?
Son: Yes, father.
Dad: Ok, then tell me one mistake.
Son: Girls affair!

45. Sansa: Dad, my teacher told me that my brain only works in half.
Dad: wow, which half is the one working?

46. Sansa: Dad, my teeth ache.
Dad: Well, go see the dentist.
Sansa: But there will be more before they leave.
Dad: How?
Sansa: They’ll pull out my teeth!

47. Dad: Honey, what will you do when you grow up?
Son: Dad, I will become a scientist.
Dad: Wow, baby, great. What will be your first search then?
Son: My food which my mother hides.

48. Dad: Son, have you seen your exam result?
Son: Yes, Dad, but don’t worry, I have asked the teacher and she said that she cannot see my formulas.

Stupid Dad Jokes

49. Dad: I don’t understand why don’t you buy?
Son: Dad, I am only concerned about your pocket.
Dad: Yes, you are right as long as my pocket is empty!

50. Dad: I have found a girl for you, she is very nice.
Son: Dad, I have already found a very nice girl – my mom!
Dad: Oh, yes, that’s right. I had forgotten.

51. Dad: How was your exam?
Son: Dad, well done. Everything has become a shower of knowledge!
Dad: Wow, what was that shower that fell into my bank account?

52. Dad: Your aunt was praising you.
Son: Really? What quote?
Dad: She said why you look so lonely, like you don’t have a brain.

53. Dad: Son, what time do you sleep?
Son: Dad, I sleep at 10 every day.
Dad: Wow, he sleeps so fast! I thought you must have been sleeping for many years.

54. Dad: Son, you were very intelligent when I was your age.
Son: Yes dad, you are very intelligent.
Dad: Wow son, thanks. That’s why you are walking with me so wisely.

55. Dad: Son, how much money have you taken for the contract of intelligence?
Son: Dad, I have taken an amount of one rupee to take you.
Dad: Oh, so now it’s proved that the contract price is too low!

56. Dad: Son, how much time do you have to prepare for the next exam?
Son: Dad, it’s two weeks.
Dad: Well, that means you have one week, the rest of the week you will spend just to become a businessman!

57. Dad: Son, why do you eat so much?
Son: Dad, food calms my mind.
Dad: Well, then you are taking the form of God – always eats and stays calm!

58. Dad: Son, we have worked hard to give you higher education.
Son: Yes, Dad, you have worked really hard.
Dad: Well, then that means you’ll go where your parents can’t for you!

Birthday Dad Jokes

59. Son: Dad, I have brought you an electric bulb for your birthday.
Dad: Oh wow! This is a really dazzling birthday gift!

60. Son: Dad, it’s your birthday, what do you want?
Dad: Son, my bedroom is saved, so just to be happy in it, you bring me some new and big painting.

61. Son: Dad, on your birthday I have bought you lots of flowers.
Dad: Wow, son! Well done, but this time my nose will come in handy!

62. Son: Dad, what gift should I get you on your birthday?
Dad: Son, just being a son is enough.

63. Dad: Give me a job on my birthday.
Son: Dad, instead of employment, I will gift a shop on my birthday.

64. Son: Dad, can I make you something special on your birthday?
Dad: Yes, I want a best partner in my life.

65. Dad: Son, I want something special for my birthday.
Son: Dad, write on my Facebook and Twitter accounts as ‘Father’s Fan’.

66. Dad: Son, do something different on my birthday.
Son: Ok dad, on your birthday I have opened a bank account for you.
Dad: Wow son, this is a nice gift.
Son: Yes, and put your pocket money in it.

67. Dad: “Son, I’m too old.”
You: “Yes dad, judging by your habits, you have bought a car from the oldest man in the world!”

68. Dad: “Son, when I was like you, I didn’t have phones like this.”
You: “Yeah dad, but you didn’t even have a son like me!”

69. Dad: Son, what gift will you give me on my birthday?
Son: Dad, I am late to inform you that it is your birthday. This is the greatest gift ever!

70. Dad: What special have you made for me on my birthday?
Son: Dad, I have made a special chocolate cake for you.
Dad: Wow, you made it yourself?
Son: No, I ordered over phone.

71. Dad: Son, what would you like for my birthday?
Son: Dad, there is a detailed list, but first tell your bank account password.

72. Dad: “Do something special for my birthday.”
You: “Okay Dad, I’ll take your birthday gift out of your account myself!”

Cheesy Dad Jokes

73. Dad: Have you heard that I went to Pandit ji and asked him about the problem?
Son: Yes, Dad.
Dad: What was he saying?
Son: He said that he also has the problem you have mentioned.

74. Dad: You didn’t hear that I participated in a race?
Son: No, dad.
Dad: What? You stopped taking yourself to exercise!

75. Dad: Do you have a knife to cut mango?
Son: Yes, Dad.
Dad: So it’s for biting him, not for biting everyone’s stuff with your words!

76. Dad: Son, when I was your age, I was very fast!
Son: Really, Dad? where were you going
Dad: No son, I could change the TV channel very quickly!

77. Dad: Son, what is this? your test results?
Son: Yes, Dad.
Dad: Well, let’s tie him to the swing, so he can spin around!

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