50 Mexican Jokes of All Time
Mexican Jokes
1. Why don’t Mexicans ever do well in Olympics?
Because all the ones who can run, swim, and jump have already crossed the border!
2. Why did the Mexican chef get a low score on his cooking show?
He kept adding too much “Juan” seasoning!
3. What do you call a Mexican who can’t find his car?
Carlos!
4. Why don’t Mexicans ever cross the border in groups of three?
Because the signs at the border say, “No Trespassing”!
5. Why did the Mexican boy bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house!
6. How do you stop a Mexican tank?
You shoot the person pushing it!
7. Why don’t Mexicans ever barbecue?
Because the beans keep falling through the grill!
8. Why don’t Mexicans play hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will look for them!
9. Why do Mexicans make terrible DJs?
Because every time they turn on the radio, they hear, “Juan, Juan, Juan”!
10. How do you confuse a Mexican?
Ask him to spell “Colorado”!
11. What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
12. How do you make a Mexican chili?
You push him off a cliff!
13. Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
14. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos!
15. How do you keep a Mexican from robbing your house?
Put a help-wanted sign on the lawn!
16. Why do Mexicans make terrible basketball players?
Every time they get close to the net, they panic and build a fence!
17. What’s the difference between a smart Mexican and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted!
18. Why don’t Mexicans ever win the lottery?
They can’t figure out how to get three “W”s in a row!
19. How do you starve a Mexican?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots!
20. Why don’t Mexicans ever have barbecues?
The beans keep slipping through the grill!
21. Why did the Mexican take a job at the bakery?
Because he kneaded dough!
22. What do you call a Mexican with a bottle of shampoo?
The “Head and Shoulders” cartel!
23. How do you find the richest Mexican neighborhood?
Look for the streets with the most “Juan” way signs!
24. Why did the Mexican bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house!
25. How do you sink a Mexican battleship?
Put it in water!
26. Why don’t Mexicans play hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will look for them!
27. How do you get a Mexican out of a tree?
Wave!
28. What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?
Carlos!
29. How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall?
They’ll get over it!
30. Why don’t Mexicans ever become pharmacists?
Because they can’t figure out how to fit “Xanax” into a syringe!
31. Why don’t Mexicans ever become firefighters?
They can’t tell the difference between “Jose” and “Hose B”!
32. Why don’t Mexicans ever swim in the ocean?
Because every time they get near the border, they start doing flips!
33. What do you call a Mexican who can’t find his car?
Carlos!
34. Why don’t Mexicans ever barbecue?
Because the beans keep falling through the grill!
35. What’s a Mexican’s favorite kind of meat?
Anything his mom cooks for him!
36. Why don’t Mexicans ever become lifeguards?
Because they can’t tell the difference between “Juan” wave and another!
37. How do you confuse a Mexican?
Ask him to spell “Colorado”!
38. What do you call a Mexican who can fly?
“Pilot”!
39. Why don’t Mexicans ever become teachers?
They can’t afford to spend four years in English class!
40. Why don’t Mexicans ever play Uno?
They always steal the green cards!
41. How do you keep a Mexican from robbing your house?
Put a help-wanted sign on the lawn!
42. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos!
43. Why don’t Mexicans ever play hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will look for them!
44. How do you sink a Mexican submarine?
You knock on the door!
45. Why did the Mexican go to college?
To learn how to say, “Would you like fries with that?” in English!
46. How do you starve a Mexican?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots!
47. Why don’t Mexicans ever win the lottery?
They can’t figure out how to get three “W”s in a row!
48. How do you get a Mexican out of a tree?
Wave!
49. What’s the difference between a smart Mexican and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted!
50. Why don’t Mexicans ever become pharmacists?
Because they can’t figure out how to fit “Xanax” into a syringe!